If your goal is to find a partner, you might be thinking – Why do I need to talk to so many people?
In this article I’ll delve deep into this question. In essence it’s about abundance.
Abundance comes from two areas –
2. Taking Action.
In order to have the relationship that you want, an abundant relationship full of joy, connection and presence – you have to first create those qualities and express them. The simplest way to do this in the beginning, is to learn to enjoy connecting with and being present through the practice of talking to lots of people.
You might be thinking here – Isn’t this supposed to just happen? Isn’t my ideal partner supposed to just show up?
Well. That’s exactly what abundance looks like…
When you have abundance, an abundance of love…things do just happen. There is a sense of living. Satisfaction. Giving. Joy. People come and go, and the right ones for you stick around.
When you don’t have abundance though, the reverse is true. It feels like wading through mud. Nothing works right. Everything is a struggle. The people you meet disappear without reason or cause. You feel like you are taken for granted. Perhaps you feel angry and frustrated, or perhaps there is a simply a feeling of tension or resistance that you can’t fully explain. A sense of foreboding and loneliness…
Making a commitment to take action is what changes scarcity into abundance, and how you set the foundation for bringing the right person for you into your life.
Commit To Taking Action
One common mistake that you might be making is that you might be taking action to meet someone, when you haven’t made a commitment to have a relationship. Another is that you might be committed to a relationship, but not taking action to meet anyone. It’s only when you do both that you will be on the path to meeting your partner!
In order to find and create your dream relationship, you must take action. Taking action can look like many different things, but those things all start from the same place.
Making a commitment.
A simple truth is that the results you get, are based on the level and specificity of the commitment that you make, followed by the action that you take aligned with that commitment.
Finding a partner = Commitment to have a partner + action to meet potential partners.
What Does Making a Commitment Look Like?
Feeling (not simply thinking) you are 110% ready to enter a new partnership.
Making a commitment is an internal process that is about creating a shift in within you about having a relationship. A commitment isn’t something that you can adopt. It’s not an assumption or an idea. Making a commitment is about deciding that life is going to change. When you have made it, you feel it deep in your body. You feel it in your bones. A commitment can last only in that moment, or a lifetime but you know you made it, because you can feel it.
According to society, women are just assumed to have made a commitment to have a relationship, and men are just assumed to be against a relationship. Neither of these is a commitment!
In reality, a commitment is a personal and individual conscious choice that you make, that means that life is going to change. It’s not holding, or striving. It’s a choice.
In order to have the relationship that you want, you have to first choose that relationship. Without that conscious choice, you will simply attract people to you based upon your previous choices. Some of those choices may be exactly what you needed at the time – but they might not serve you in meeting someone now.
Here we are focused on consciously creating our dream relationship. This is the act of creating a potential future for ourselves, and then taking action in order to make that into our reality.
How we choose to live attracts people into our life in order to support those choices. A commitment is about the focused direction in which you want your relationship (and life) to go.
So, the bigger the commitment you make, the more present you are in your choices.. The less action it takes to meet your partner. It might seem strange, but most of the work you do takes place before you physically do anything.
There is no limit to the size of a commitment that you can make, only on the amount of fear that you are willing to embrace in order to bring that level of change into your life. It’s our fear to commit, that keeps us living in ways that we don’t really want, and that creates a barrier that keeps our dream partner absent.
Fear ironically is a commitment too. And it’s one that you can change, by taking committed action toward a different kind of experience. Meeting the person that you are really truly attracted to and having a conversation with them.
What a strange and wonderful world we live in!
What Does Taking Action Look Like?
– Sending 5 messages online a day
– Starting 3 new conversations a day (online or offline)
– Asking or agreeing to meet in person for a date
You can make small actions. Like replying to a message that someone sent you earlier.
Or larger actions. Asking someone if they would like to join you for coffee or at the park.
Or bigger actions. Telling someone how you feel about them.
These are all basic examples of what taking action might look like. But to go deeper than this, we could say that taking action (correct action to meet your partner), involves stepping into the fear you have about making the level of commitment that you want.
What is it that you really want in a partner? That is so amazing that it’s scary to you? What do you have to do in order to meet that person, that you are afraid of doing?
That’s the action that you want to be taking. Don’t just take any action. Take action that is scary and that makes you vulnerable. That type of action brings you closer to your partner, and with the right level of commitment you will be able to see it through and start a relationship with them.
To take this topic full circle and fully address the original question:
– When you talk to many people, you are making a commitment to have abundance and meeting that commitment with the action of connecting with people.
In doing so you are creating the environment in which your partner can appear. Meeting your partner moves from the realm of chance and possibility, into your present reality. Love, and great sexual chemistry follows shortly after.
Hopefully, I’ve answered the question of why talking to many people is important.
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Tim is a love coach and writer for Love Openly.
He has qualifications in NLP, hypnotherapy and stress management. HPD, DipHyp, DipNLP, CertSM