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How To Get A Girlfriend

Lovers In The Shadow

Image by Aesum via Flickr

Getting a girlfriend can be both simple or complicated, though mostly depends on experience, persistence and a little bit of luck.

Lets break these 3 things down and look at them a little closer.


Ever heard of the phrase – “Fake it till you make it”?

When it comes to learning how to get a girlfriend, you can’t really fake it. My suggestion to you is not to try and pretend to be something that you are not. There are endless books and Internet guides out there that provide you with ways to do a song and dance, perform magic tricks and all sorts of other daft things to try.

You don’t need to be anything other than yourself.

And yet, being yourself is just about the most difficult thing that anyone can ever be. This is what is means to be experienced.

A man that is experienced in relationships has tried all sorts of tricks and techniques, and over time he has worked out what worked for him, and more importantly what he needs from a woman. If you lack experience, this is not really a problem, though it does mean that some work must be done.

When you meet a girl, be as honest as possible.

The more honest you are the more she will know and understand you. A girl who wants a guy for a relationship is looking for someone who isn’t trying to be perfect, after all relationships are about growth. Be open about who you are to women, and let them know what it is that you want out of life. Relationships are just that – A ship that you are on traveling through life together.


Persistence is incredibly important when it comes not only to finding a girlfriend, but also in keeping one. Meeting women takes time and effort, and if you are looking for that magic piece of knowledge or that secret to having your perfect woman fall out of the sky, then here it is laid out for you in this article – but its not sugar coated in the way everyone else puts it. They are only telling you what you want to hear so that you will give them money. Read this article as many times as you need to understand that finding the right girl for you is mostly a numbers game.

The more women you meet, the more experience you get, the more you know what you need, and the more that you know what she expects. This is a process that goes round and round, with each new girl teaching you just that little bit more.

Your first girlfriend is usually a heartbreaking experience, and the reason for this is because neither of you probably know what you need or don’t yet have the skill of persistence to stay together without hating each other or becoming jealous.

Persistence is a skill, and you learn persistence purely by being persistent. Just like you get muscles by using your muscles. You have to go out there and be determined, and focus on your goal of finding, meeting and making that woman into your girlfriend. And if it doesn’t work out, then you must brush off the failure, take note of what you learnt, and apply those new skills to the next girl.


Meeting the right girl for you has an element of luck, but the truth of it is that luck isn’t as big a factor in finding a girlfriend as the above factors are. Many of us are brought up to believe in fairy tales, with knights and shining armor and dashing princes. Reality doesn’t work this way, which is fortunate, because it means that your average joe has a chance!

That said, that girl that you picture in your mind really is out there somewhere, and the longer you look the less you will probably believe that.

Only when you are almost ready to give up, will she appear seemingly out of nowhere – And it will feel magical, but don’t waste that chance…

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Tim LO

Tim is a love coach and writer for Love Openly.

He has qualifications in NLP, hypnotherapy and stress management. HPD, DipHyp, DipNLP, CertSM