“I am not good enough.” | When you want to give up on dating

Belief is so crucial in dating that without it you will give up before you see the good results.

People are telling you dating isn’t worth it. They are telling you that the game is rigged. They are telling you that your efforts, your work will be for nothing. They have statistics. They have “science” to back up their arguments.

And you have chosen to believe them.

Why?

Because it’s true?

This is not about what’s true necessarily. If you already believe you can’t do it before you started dating. If you already believed that you are not good enough for the woman you want. For the relationship you want..

If you already believed it’s impossible out of the gate. Then any obstacle you face becomes a way of validating that belief. Any narrative that fits the one you already have it’s instantly true.

The thing is:

You don’t know. You don’t know if you can succeed with online dating. You don’t know because you haven’t yet. You never faced the odds and won. But that does not mean you can’t. That’s a fatal error in thinking. If you say ‘I can’t’ then it means you have chosen negative self talk. It means you have chosen the wrong path.

You have listened to people that told you that you couldn’t do it. Other people who couldn’t do it themselves. You have listened to all the reasons they came up with to say why it’s impossible. And they have many.

You believed them.

Well I’m not those other people. I have done it. I know what’s possible. I know the power of belief. I had to earn and it was hard. But it changed everything for me. It can for you as well.

Is belief only thing you need? Heck no. But if you don’t have it you are left spinning wheels. Chasing that better photo. Chasing matches. Endless and endless messages with no results.

How do you make it through all that? It’s the belief that makes the difference.

Its continuing on when you don’t want to. It’s not giving up for anyone. Because how else are you going to meet her?

Belief is binary. Either you believe you are good enough to be with someone, or you do not.

Until you succeed. You must believe in the meritocracy of dating. You must believe you are a contender. You must ignore the stats. You stop listening to anything other than your belief. And that belief must be that you are good enough.

Never give up.

Tim LO

Tim is a love coach and writer for Love Openly.

He has qualifications in NLP, hypnotherapy and stress management. HPD, DipHyp, DipNLP, CertSM