Its not easy being in a long distance relationship, but there are some important things that you can do to make it work. In this video I talk about what I learned about how to keep the relationship healthy when you are distant from your partner.
Being in a long distance relationship often feels tough. It does suck, not being able to see, hear and touch our loved ones. But if you learn to manage the challenges of a long distance relationship, it actually gives you an opportunity to grow as a person as well as a couple.
Here are a few practical tips I can share with you to make your long distance relationship work.
1. Try to look at your relationship from the bigger picture in a longer timeline.
When we’re in LDR, we easily focus too much on what we’re missing and can’t do with our partners.
This can trigger us to feel insecure, thinking we might not be as important to our partners anymore, because the connection you used to feel about your partner isn’t as strong.
But try to remember why you’re in a relationship in the first place. It’s to love each other and grow together.
Where you are now in your relationship is just a temporary phase, and it won’t last forever.
Being in LDR and managing challenges is just one of many obstacles you will face to build a strong and long-lasting relationship. If you manage to push through this challenging time, you will share a lot more laughter, love, connection and memories together in the future.
2. Be grateful for small things you share with your partner.
If you focus on what you’re missing out too much, you bring negative energy to your relationship, which will add even more distance to the physical distance you already have.
It’s important to consciously bring positive energy to the relationship, so it still feels fun and exciting to stay in the relationship.
The easy way to do it is by doing the gratitude exercise. Whenever you feel a bit down because of the distance you have with your partner, try to list up every little thing you’re grateful for about your partner and yourself.
Even if there is a distance, having someone who cares about and listens to you is an amazing thing.
It’s even better if you express your gratitude to your partner regularly 🙂
3. Schedule a regular video call with your partner.
Texting is an easy and convenient way to communicate, but it isn’t the best way to be present for each other.
Setting up a regular video call with your partner helps to feel more connected to each other. It’s important to dedicate a time where you can be fully present for each other without being distracted by other things in our lives.
4. It’s a great opportunity to work on yourself on your own.
When we’re in a relationship, we often focus and rely too much on the relationship, so neglect the work we need to do on ourselves.
Being in a long distance relationship gives you a chance to do that work on your own so that you can grow into a better and more mature person.
For example, the reason why you often become controlling and possessive of your partner is because you feel insecure.
If your girlfriend has a good time without you, you worry and fear that she might not want to stay with you anymore.
Why you feel insecure isn’t really to do with her, so trying to control her and making her feel guilty about having a good time won’t help but create more distance between you two.
Instead, use this opportunity to truly work on your insecurity by asking yourself deeper questions – What is it making you insecure and controlling? What is it you’re worried about? Is your worry really valid? What is the fundamental fear you have behind this insecurity? Is it something you should work on by yourself or do you need to communicate with your partner to come up with better solutions together?
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